We nuggets have a horror of filling in profiles. No one is allowed to know the contents of our Super Sekrit Ingredients List! The Divinity of our Delectable Deliciousness may not be revealed, for it would drive mere mortals mad... MAD!
...that, and I just hate filling out the darn things. So I don't.
For some reason evil OkCupid gave me the impression that a photo was mandatory though, so I uploaded a sample of my battery goodness. But barely filled in any profile details. *hides ingredients* And that was that!
Now, I hadn't realised it, but OkCupid spams you according to how often you log on - and I only started logging on again very recently. Which means - lots of random, brainless spam messages and chats from aliens popping out of the woodwork. I am - in case for some reason y'all hadn't realised it yet, a girlnugget. What else would I be after all - crispy golden battered breast and thigh forever! This makes random, brainless spam messages unsurprising - any decent looking chick who's ever put any photo of any kind up in a dating site will tell you so.
One of the reasons I recently got back into OkCupid was their very well-written blog. And so, in an attempt to ward off these Fake Meat Attacks, that did attempt to bury the real nutritional shiny goodness of a nugget, I gave in and put something in my profile. More specifically, I wrote this:
My Self Summary
I'm sure I saw an OKCupid blog post about how most messages on dating sites, to girls, with the words 'pretty' or other such adjectives in them go totally ignored. Make of that what you will. ;)
I also left my librarything booklist - you can find that under 'Nugget', if for some reason, you're interested.
Now, while this seems to have appreciably stopped most of the Fake Meat Attacks (for which I am very thankful), it's also given rise to a new kind of spam.
I've gotten some mails saying 'pretty' just to be silly about it - and making it very clear. In which case, we basically go, 'lol! cute! but we don't match, bai!' Which is all good.
And then there's the other sort.
In my inbox this morning I get, instead of a Fake Meat Attack, a Hostile Meat Attack. Without any preamble, this guy writes to me and demands to know 'why you presume men will find you attractive'.
[Edit: This is the actual message, or part of it, from my mailbox. I deleted it on OkCupid without opening the full thing, so it's lost to posterity. It's more hostile than I recalled... woot! I think.]
Why the assumption that men would greet you with the word pretty? Especially with just one low resolution [photo]...
Which kind of reveals the following assumptions:
- That I was writing about me
- That girlies might not/should not find juicy breast and thigh tasty (or maybe it's just that girls know better than to write such types of messages as detailed by OkCupid hmm)
- That I presume that men will find me tasty, which leads, (I think), to how
- I'm an arrogant bitch who needs a put-down
- Time is well spent spamming me with a Hostile Meat Attack rather than moving on
- That I couldn't possibly have any reason for putting that up there, certainly nothing like a desire to ward off Fake Meat Attacks
- Utter cluelessness about how much spam girls receive on these sorts of sites
Now here's the thing. I'm a decent-looking sort of nugget, but I'm no goddess. (Well, not unless I take my true, golden-battered scrumptulescent form, but most mortal eyes are incapable of comprehending such golden gloriousness. Ahem. Right.) No one's going to fall at my feet and give me a golden apple.
So this guy finds it necessary to go on the Interwebz, trawl through chicks on OkCupid, and then send one (or more! who knows!) of them a Hostile Meat Attack. Why, I have no idea, since logically speaking, he'd do better simply sending messages to those who might like him!
On the bright (shiny, golden, crispy) side, his message told me a lot more about him in a very, very few sentences, than most of the messages I've received from others! I suppose that counts for something! ~_o
