Earl Grey Icecream with Crystallised Ginger & Baileys Irish Coffee Icecream with Crunchy Dark Chocolate Baileys Swirl

Earl Grey Icecream with Crystallised Ginger Bits
This is a cultured, aristocratic icecream with a touch of spicy character. It has just the right sophisticated taste you need to convince poor fools that you can actually cook. XD I was afraid I might not have ground the tea finely enough, but it turned out great! Not gritty at all. O.O

3 parts thickened / whipping cream
2 parts condensed milk
A tiny bit of vanilla essense
2 smallish glugs of any kind of drinkable alcohol, preferably not strong-tasting - just to keep from getting too hard in the fridge
Earl Grey tea to taste, ground fine. You can just grind any Earl Grey you like straight out of a teabag. Remove the teabag though.
Crystallised ginger, chopped into fine bits


  1. Brutally slay Earl Grey teabag(s) - I used 3 - by lopping off their heads
  2. Pour their innards into a mortar and pestle
  3. Grind Earl Grey tea innards a lot. Until it's as fine as you can get it, or you get sick of grinding.
  4. Put everything except the ginger in a bowl together
  5. Whisk until soft peaks form
  6. Fold in ginger bits
  7. Transfer into an airtight container
  8. Plop in freezer for 6+ hours
  9. Eat while wailing that you don't know which icecream you can bear to bring to the office as an offering anymore

Baileys Irish Coffee Icecream with Crunchy Dark Chocolate Baileys Swirl
Where the Earl Grey oozes cultured, sophisticated elegance, this one oozes sex.. SEX!! Sensuous, decadent, coffee-chocolate-baileys seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeks. That is all.

3 parts thickened / whipping cream
2 parts condensed milk
Baileys Irish Cream to taste
Instant coffee powder/crystals, ground fine (more for more coffeefee flavour, less for less - shocking, inoes)

4 parts dark chocolate chips
1 part butter
3 parts sugar
Moar Baileys Irish Cream


  1. Plop Swirl ingredients in a bowl, melt it all in a rice cooker. If you don't have a rice cooker, you need a water bath or something scary like that and I don't want to know.
  2. When it's good and melted, whisk it all together. Ideally, the sugar shouldn't be QUITE melted yet, giving it a crispy/grainy texture
  3. Add Baileys Irish Cream little by little, whisking as you go along
  4. Stop when the sauce looks dark and glossy, and is liquid enough to paint 'artistic' patterns on a plate with
  5. Consign the instant coffeefee to a grindy doom in a mortar and pestle
  6. Grind till coffeefee is snortably fine. It shouldn't take long.
  7. Put all icecream ingredients in a bowl together
  8. Whisk until soft peaks form
  9. Glop a quarter into an airtight container, drizzle in the Bailey's dark chocolate sauce
  10. Repeat 3x
  11. Stir / swirl it around a bit (not too much!) with a chopstick, a knife, or some other sort of slender stabbing implement
  12. Plop in freezer for 6+ hours
    ...Igor, find me a brain.

So I've started drinking coffee...

...even though I don't particularly like the stuff.

I've always been more of a tea person. Teas! I have so many teas!

So why is the nugget being coffeefied? Weeeeeeell...

...our new office has this super spiffy coffee-making machine, with lots of shiny steel surfaces and sleek black appurtenances and dials and buttons and lights and...


I'm drinking coffee I don't really want, in copious amounts, because it's so fun to watch it gloosh out of the machine.

I'm sure there's some relation to MMOs and grind here, I just can't quite figure out what.