I wailed! I whined! I made lots and lots of squeeing noises! And then I whined some more!
As a result, my Oz-family were finally bullied into making me a Bacon Explosion... WOOTIES!
And here are da pictures for posterity.
No. 2 is my hand for a sense of scale. I'm 1.65m / 5ft 4in tall. DEATH BY BACON! WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!
(P.S.: The girl had a horrible tummyache the next morning. Exploded by bacon. O.o)