"I savor my chocolate with the zeal of a lion taking down a zebra."

You know those Dove Chocolate commercials? The ones in which the girl takes a bite so small it probably requires her six bites total to eat one tiny square?  She always eats in slow motion.  What are the people in the chocolate business trying to tell us?  Eating in slow-mo somehow means you’re savoring this cocoa luxury more than you would if you ate it in real time?  Um, I disagree.  I savor my chocolate with the zeal of a lion taking down a zebra.  I think that means my love is true love.  It also means I could never be in a chocolate commercial.

XD I'm pretty neutral about chocolate (which is a bit odd considering all the chocolate things I've made / am making / am planning to make), but that description is just wonderfully hilarious.